Stigma and its management in HIV - Joy

*trigger warning - suicidal ideation.

After disclosure by my father on my HIV status, I had a serious talk with him and an adherence counsellor and everything went on well. I accepted that I was HIV positive and I was to live with it positively. Later, I joined college and met this young man from my home area and we became friends. It didn't take long before hell broke loose.

Everybody started talking about my HIV status and that I was out to spread the virus to the young men in my area. My college friend deserted me, no one wanted to be associated with me, some would literally stare at me as if they had seen a ghost. I could not attend any social events, I feared going to the mall or even interacting with my peers. I became socially withdrawn.

I became so stressed. I lost hope and felt worthless. I thought of how I would commit suicide. I stopped attending my classes and that’s when my father realized something was wrong with me. He tried to talk to me and be very supportive to me, but I felt no need to live. I tried committing suicide by overdosing on the ARVs, I was admitted in a health facility which was my turning point. I started mental health therapy .

I learnt how to deal with discrimination and stigmatization by educating myself that discrimination against people with HIV is often rooted in lack of understanding about the virus and how it’s spread or how some people find themselves HIV positive. Also I should know my rights, become an advocate about HIV, consider being open to those people. For those seeking support, I could be a person to trust.

We can stop or prevent stigmatization by correcting negative language that can cause stigma by sharing accurate information about how the virus spreads. Speaking out against negative behaviours and statements, including those on social media is one way. Making sure that images used in communication show diverse communities and do not reinforce stereotypes is another.

I also fought discrimination by talking about my feelings with providers and friends, family members or other supportive people. I found activities that relieve my stress, such as exercise or hobbies. I tried to get enough sleep each night to help feel rested. I learnt relaxation methods like meditation, yoga or deep breathing. I have tried not to isolate myself. I have made sure stigma doesn't create self doubt and shame. I never equate myself to the illness. I have identified a strong support system and I always try to speak out against stigma. I can testify that these measures have been helpful to me on dealing with discrimination and stigmatization and am living positively.

It’s a long journey that requires a lot of support and self acceptance.